Friday, February 13, 2009

My confession

Today its Valentine's...
U just pop back on my head and keep on haunting me...
Why??Why is it so hard for me to move on...
I feel so tortured,so painful..the pain that cannot be illustrated...
I may look happy on the outside...but,the inner side of me suffers...its suffocating me!!!i am drowning!!!
I forced myself to put on a smile everyday...i am really tired of always smiling when i don't feel like it...
I wanted to call u and ask how are u these days...but i hesitated...
I just don't have the courage to call u...as I know I will be crying and do stupid things again...
When friends are around me,I still feel so alone,so lonely,so timid in my own world...the presence of them just vanished...
I pretend to be happy and hyper active around them just to make sure they won't be worried about me...
When I am alone at home,I try to keep myself occupied with things such as dramas...
Well,its certainly not easy to let go of this relationship although its been 7 months since we separated...
I doubted it...I know that this will be a challenge for me!!!A really tough one...
I truly miss u...
Sometimes,I questioned God...Why did He provided everything I wanted and instead,took u away...
Tears kept on rolling down when i am typing this post...
Then my eyes was on your cardboard that u made it for me during my eighteenth birthday...
I took it and hug it...tears are everywhere on the cardboard and its really wet now...
Memories that we share together just popped back on my mind and replayed it all over again...
Although we have not been contacting each other,the only way to love u is keeping u in my prayers so that God will protect u and lead u to your future...
I do hope to talk to u...eventhough its just a few seconds i am satisfied...
Well,its 3 in the morning now...I should be in my dreams...
So,for couples,I wish all of u happy valentine's and enjoy each others companionship while both of u can...
Do appreciate the relationship while you are in it...
Because u will not know what will happen next...
As for singles,one day,you will meet your special one...you will just need to be patient to wait for the right time to arrive...
God bless everyone...

3 comments:

mangkai said...

erm... be tough gal..
sorry i'm not very good in comforting people >.<

p/s: ur font colour is too bright, me need to highlight it all to read it.. haha.. hope u wont mind.. =.=

see u soon in kl
miss u~~~

^jacy_惠^ said...

mangkai: she wana hide it..thats y putting such color~~ :)

my darling..sowie to tell you that i saw him at the garden last week..i tink it was on tuesday..we had our marketing final that day..after shaoyen left..me n zihau went for movie at signature..saw him around there..with a guy..kinda fat guy...

erm..as i told you..recover nids time..i know it will be tough..but it will be gone as time passes..he is not the 1 for you..try hard to forget him and dont put hope in it already ya...

you are a sweet girl..God will have someone better waiting for you out there..do believe this...^^

hope you will be okie soon..and see you soon!

shifat said...

oops...
seems like i missed the post here...
i din really notice that dis happen to u ~
i kip disturbing u some more...
paiseh leh~